Some of you girls are already thinking ” On what planet do those guys live? I’ve never known a guy like that, at least one that I would be attracted to. If that is the case, maybe you need to start hanging around with a different group of guys (like me lol)
If you have a history of dating cheaters or know way too many girls who have, then you might need to rethink how you pick your boyfriends. And, yes, I know girls can cheating too, but for now, we’re going to talk about boys.
Guys really Aren’t all that Complex - Nor are their Relationships
There is lots of advice floating around in books, blogs, and every-day conversations about why we do that. But if you haven’t figured this out yet, you will eventually discover that guys are really not that complex.
The male approach to dating lies somewhere between that of a caveman and a mechanical engineer, often more like the caveman. So, I have simplified the WHY of cheating by whittling it down to three things. This is not intended to be a complete list, mind you. But understanding these few simple things about us could help you a lot.
First, We are Cheating because of a Big Misunderstanding of the Relationship
My friends said to me : I think the 2 main reasons why guys cheat goes like this:
1) Guys get stuck with a clingy girl, figures maybe she’ll change over the course of a few months. Really likes the girl for a lot of her character traits but notices that she’s not going to let him go.
Miss Insecurity is dating Mr. Self-Confident, and with that relationship, she is trying desperately to plug some pretty big holes in her own self-esteem. You know how that usually turns out” clinginess, jealousy, anger, tears When a very insecure person and very self-confident person begin dating, they almost always have a different understanding about the relationship.
The girl might understand their relationship as being long-term, high-commitment, and exclusive (that means no other girls allowed). Her boyfriend may see things very differently. To him it is about hanging out, having fun, making out, and moving on. The truth is that he is not into her nearly as much as she is into him.
But Miss Insecurity doesn’t want to press Mr. Self-Confident too hard about his commitment. She would prefer to assume (or in some cases, dream) he is as committed to her as she is to him. One reason guys cheat is that they have a different understanding about the relationship. And so, they don’t think fooling around with another girl is cheating at all.
BTW, we are the guys also have to deal with insecurity just as much as you girls.
My friends (continued)
2) Guys just want sex from a girl. Girl isn’t willing to give them sex just yet, so they stick around. They wait for a while, giving promises of everlasting love til they finally get what they want. Then they stick around a little longer and say Hey!…so I’ve met this other girl (who I’ve had sex with without you knowing) and I just don’t see things working out between us…so Yeah - case closed.
Second, We are Cheating because our Relationship Goals are Different from Yours
Then there are some of us who are very willing to talk about the relationship. They make lots of promises, using words like, “I love you,” “you’re so beautiful,” and “spend our lives together.” The girlfriend might be saying the same words, but there is a difference. Some girls give a lot and put up with a lot in order to get what they want most” the relationship.
On the other hand, some of us (including the ones more likely to cheat) come at it from the other direction. They get excited about the relationship too, but simply because the relationship is the way to get what they want ” usually sex.
my other friends (girls) said:
Guys who cheat on their girlfriends are inconsiderate jerks who need to grow up. If guys cheat, then they are obviously not ready to commit to a relationship. When guys cheat they usually cheat on a great girl who really cares about them for some ugly brainless girl who could care less about them.
It’s pretty simple right? she wants a relationship, so much so that she is even tempted to offer some sex to get is. He wants sex, even if he has to give some relationship to get it. But cheating violates the relationship, not the sex. Another reason guys cheat is that the relationship was never their goal, it was the sex.
Lastly, We are Cheating because we getting weaker even more.
Guys who cheat don’t always do it with a plan in mind. Remember, guys are not that complex. You probably know about some girls who stalk guys like sexual predators- they try in every way they can to get them to cheat. Unfortunately, some guys just don’t have what it takes to refuse - well same meat different flavor should give a try isn't.
What’s in your Boyfriend’s Background and World?
A lot of guys and girls dream about being as different as possible from their parents. So the last thing on your checklist for a potential boyfriend is his mom and dad. Don’t leave! Check this - when it comes to being faithful to wives and girlfriends, one of the most important factors is a guy’s parents. Generally speaking, guys who grow up in homes where their parents cheat, find it much easier to do the same thing.
Girls cant live with them, cant live without them - My life was simplified after l accepted this.
How does a good guy and a good boy friend become a cheater? - I don’t mean just a one-time slip. I’m talking about an habitual, intentional, lying, two-timing cheater.
Two reasons: either we never gets caught or we are allowed to do so by our girlfriends who keep taking us back. In other words, we never had to face consequences that are painful enough to give him a good enough reason to stop.
- y.m.p -
