Every couple or partner will know that they will only end up in 2 ways, we grow old together or separate, because grow old is too mainstream to write so I try to write about the Stranger Part.
Where and how each phase can develops is different to each person, while we always hope for a happy ending, we also can’t avoid the inevitable part from it. So based from my own experience and read few article about it too, there is come 7 phase in my opinion for it.
The Meet Up
the meeting is always something that I can’t expect, both of us is just strangers for a first time, and it just happen suddenly, like on my case is random travel companion, I thought that kind of girls is never existed.
She was so bright like angel and suddenly my world will stop moving for awhile then my mind will only think about her, then I'll think for more than just a friend, that was exhausted day but it paid off when I got her number and social media contact, then I can start the next phase (my favorite one :p).
Come on Get Her!
At this phase all I wanna do is to know anything and more about her, do CSI on her social media, give a comment, chat, disturb her for the sake of curiosity or just be a stalker like what I’ve been done (shame on me hahaha) , and all I want to do is hang out with her, the only person that I wanna talk to is her, she’s the number one priority, every time I saw her there is a rainbow and butterflies in my mind, she was perfect to be everything than I thought for a girl.
Every things about her is so beautiful, I always excited to make any contact with her, my cellphone is always beside me waiting for her text or call, leaving my “World of Warcraft” 25 Raid Group as Healer role once she call or buzz me in a Skype, cancel Boys days out for accompany her to shopping and even just have a cup of coffee in mini market is always awesome.
I just need the exactly right time or moment to say that magic word, maybe take sometimes but its worth and taking both of us to the next phase.
Honeymoon
Its all start with “would you be my Girlfriend?” or maybe something else that you think it feels like the same statement for it. Finally we can fully express each other feeling and everything like dream come true, the girl that I wanna be so bad badly was finally mine.
My new life routine is just begun, whole list of activity, mark on a calendar, and everything to make her happy, she also feels the same way. My day always start with “Good Morning” text from her or either, keep report and share all our activity for every single days, pick her up after class or office then go for dinner, watch movie or just snuggle and cuddle around, its one of the most precious moment that I’ll always remember about, She’s the only one, nothing more important than her wishes, even Kim Taeyeon or Taylor Swift is not gonna be match for her now.
We have a some chat about “how’s our future gonna be” like travel together, buy a small house, how many kids, etc , its seem possible and yes we work for it, there is a price that we need to pay, its not just money but other things, we all know that we can’t get everything at one time, so the routine itself start to change slowly but sure, some couple will do dramatically change for their routine, for example my beers and meat portion will reduce from 3x a weeks to 1x a weeks, but somehow we can do it, remember the “love can move a mountain” quotes ? yes I can do anything as long as you beside me.
Ahh another important element on this phase is of course a picture, its priceless and yes we can see all the happiness from there, I know she love me, from her expression on the picture and it won’t lie either, because she also feel the same way too, everything seems to be fine from now and so on. But like normal couple do, we will move to next phase,
Comfort zone
Being comfortable is not necessary bad, we can be ourself, then we can learn and find a new things that we didn’t see on the 1st 3 phase, but it depends on how we treat it, if we do it positively work out for our relationship then we can grow old together, but others allowed to created distance and more distance like start to taking each other for granted, I start to miss my life before, when I can do Raid 25 in World of Warcraft all night long, a boys days out.
The point is maybe some people change and the bottom line is someone stop trying, the feeling between us aren’t that strong anymore, this phase can take a few months, years or more, to be honest it takes almost a year for me before move to next phase.
Tolerance
Have you ever feel like the girls that was special a year ago, isn’t that special anymore? but there is it just tolerating each other, for example she came to you and complain about her bad day, traffic, work, class, etc, and somehow you also on a bad day too, so no need a further explanation for what happen next isn’t? .
Simple things can make an argue so bad like :
Her : Where we wanna eat tonite?
Me : wherever you wanna go I don’t mind
Her : can you just decide ? I ask you
Me : and I'm being flexible, you can pick
Her : You like a 5 yrs old, everyone must decide what you wanna do (walk away)
Me : (normally I’ll just let it go, but I also in my bad day so…) what did you just say ?
Arguing start…..
Arguing is like an expression that we are not satisfied with our relationship, we trying so many times to make changes, fix things like so many couple out there but it wasn’t enough, we start to think about relationship itself, i wasn’t bad and it wasn’t great either, and let me tell you, there is none to describe about our relationship, then we move to Downfall phase.
Downfall
The efforts to make the things works is just feel like not worthed anymore, arguing keep continue and sometimes I don’t know what, whym how we arguing about, we just to tired about all of these, meet up is feels like electron, when is always negative thought on our mind like “now what she gonna do to make me upset” or “yea rite another one then kill me”.
Sad to say but we nearly to the end of our phase in relationship, what happen next is happen to some couple at the same point, the end of the line, the worst phase ever Breaking Up.
Breaking Up
I don’t know why or how this can be happen, we never plan that it will be end to be like this, I hope that we will leave because its for own good, mutual terms if that ever truly possible. From now we will start a new path like before… as a Strangers.
The change was so drastic, so blunt, there’s like no possible way to come back, there will be a day that I miss her so bad like today but this isn’t always happen, normally or eventually both of us will move on or find someone new or just stay there no going anywhere. And even bot of us already get rid of the pass and try to remain friend the things will never be the same, but our life will continue in a different way as a stranger again.
Everything that we share together become a fragment of memories. A box with a full of random stuff that we collect together, a small note, birthday card that she leave on my bookshelf, then I saw her picture on my laptop and I was think “this stranger was the most important person in my life”, what a shame that I can lose her. Sometimes I was think why Im not stopping her ?, why I can’t just fight back for it ?, why I can’t say “I’m sorry for being dumb, lets not do this anymore, this important to us, especially for me, we can work on this” , but i didn’t do that at that time.
Now all I can say is, I hope things are good with you, I hope everything is great, I hope you find a love that ours couldn’t be, the small part of me hopes that you’ll still remember what is like before all the reason and that you miss me too, for me is not like "I regret for what happens” or “I wanted to be back together again” it just.. I miss you, full stop.
The other question that must pop up is “if we end separately, are we gonna hate each other ? are we gonna keep in touch ?” my answer is “I think if life separate us in totally different places, then I’ll always remember the part of life that you on it, and I’ll be thankful for that, and I hope wherever you are, you’ll be thankful too”.
All of this based on my own experience and observation itself, please do comment if you feel so
y.m.p
